I went through three other novels before I finally settled on this book, “Impulse”. Previously, my mother tried to get me to read dramas about lawyers that made my head hurt; first I tried reading The Rainmaker, and then I tried to read The Firm. Both of these books were difficult to understand and were totally unrelated to my life. I chose “Impulse” by Ellen Hopkins because I was interested in reading a modern tragedy. The novel is written in free verse poetry from the first person viewpoint of three different characters. By the time I got to the third page, I was hooked; I do not in any way regret choosing this book for my project.
What genres does Impulse fall under? Why does it belong in these genres?
Impulse by Ellen Hopkins is in the genre young adult fiction for several reasons. Older adults would think the content is too daring, bold, and shocking. The heart-wrenching plot line would not appeal to a senior citizen trying to relax in retirement. It might be just as damaging to the fragile elderly as a heart attack. Middle aged adults could handle the strong content of the story however they would not be able to fully connect to the emotions of the teenage characters. Since this book is centered around the complex feelings of the main characters, the novel would not have quite the impact on middle-aged adults as it would on young adults. They are the perfect audience for this piece of fiction because they are mature enough to grasp the weight of the themes yet young enough to understand the emotional cargo pressing down on the resilient adolescent minds. Also, this book can be considered a trauma or tragedy because of the depressing themes. Right off the bat, the story begins with the retelling of three suicide attempts. All throughout the novel, descriptions are given of traumatic histories involving rape, murder, abortion, drugs, alcohol, juvenile detention, prostitution, homelessness, parental separation, overdose, break ups, molestation, and suicide. On top of that, the trio must confront their internal demons such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicidal thoughts. However, as the story progresses, the lives of the main characters seem to be gradually improving and everyone, including the reader is content. But that would be too good to be true, so the novel concludes with a tragic ending. If being a tragic and traumatic book was a job, Impulse would be over qualified. This book is lots of things, moving, heart-breaking, and touching, but it is certainly not happy.
Who are the major characters? What do they do and how do they feel?
Vanessa-
One of the three main characters of this novel, Vanessa is a pretty high school girl with auburn hair and warm chocolate eyes. Like the other individuals of this novel, she attempted suicide consequently landing her at Aspen Spring, the local mental institution. She tried to off herself by slashing her wrists while laying in her grandmother’s bathtub, fortunately, her little brother found her in time to save her life. Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, appears to be the main cause of her mental issues. Vanessa expresses her mood swings through colors; when she is “in the blue” she is sad or depressed, when she is “ in the white” she is happy, bright, and on top of the world and when she is “in the gray” she is right in the middle, or what other people would call normal. “Bad genes have doomed me to seesaw, white to blue and back again, for the rest of my pitiful life.” (74) Her inability to cope with her mood swings turns her towards an easy escape route: self-injury. “Coasting through life was the best I’d be able to do, managing the see-saw with the slice of a blade. So much blue in my days, a spattering of white, an abstract of emotions painted on this dull canvas. But here it is, a hint of bronze, a shimmer of gold frost. Can my world fill with color? Will I ever live shades of red? Yellow? Green?” (346) She hopes that one day she will be able to escape from her teeter-totter of blue and white. The only way she is able to cope with her mental illness is through self-injury. She craves the sting of a blade, the slicing of skin. “so I gave myself to the knife; asked it to bite a little harder, chew a little deeper” (21) Her inability to deal with daily life without mutilation is what brought her to Aspen Springs in the first place. “I cut to focus when my brain is racing. I cut to make physical what I feel inside. I cut to see blood because I like it. I don’t like to cut, but I can’t give it up. I feel all those things but I now cut for a much more substantial reason. I cut when I hear a baby crying or mama calling, impossible things but hearing them all the same. Bipolar is one thing. Schizophrenia is another. Could I have inherited both?” (200) She is worried that she might have inherited too much from her mom. Vanessa’s mom has been a huge source of stress for her because she is both schizophrenic and bipolar. Damian was the name of her mom’s “angel”, the impossible voice inside her mind. One day, Vanessa’s mom decided she had had enough; she overdosed on Xanax and wound up catatonic. Unknown to everyone but Vanessa, she walked into her house and found her mom unconscious on the floor and simply walked away. “She wanted to die…and who was I to argue?” (378) As if this was not enough for a young girl to deal with, she had a terrible relationship with a terrible boyfriend; resulting in an unwanted pregnancy. She hoped it would bring them closer together, a last ditch effort to save the thread bare relationship and Vanessa wound up a murderer; she had an abortion. However, one good thing did happen to her, she fell in love with Tony at Aspen Springs, showing that no matter how bad of a background you have, no matter what the circumstances, happiness finds a way.
Conner-
Conner is part of a trio of mentally disturbed characters in this novel. Athletic, good looking and extremely smart, Conner wears a false flawless façade to hide his pain; but one can only hide it so long. At the beginning of the novel, he attempts suicide by shooting himself in the chest. Fortunately, he missed and hit his rib cage. “Maybe crazy is preferable to staying strong” (28) although he appears perfect on the outside, he has been pushed to the breaking point. His parents are relentless, cold, and hard. “I thought she might die too, at the sight of so much blood and the thought of it staining her white Armani blouse. Conner what have you done? Tell me this was just an accident. She never heard my reply, never shed a tear.” (8) This shows you what sort of woman Conner has for a mother. Even though he just attempted suicide and his new home is Aspen Springs, Conner’s mom constantly reminds him that he needs to keep up his GPA and stay in shape for football season. As if dealing with his severe depression and other mental instabilities was not emotionally taxing enough, whenever his parents come to visit him for group therapy, they constantly badger him about maintaining his grades so he can be accepted in to the best Ivy League college. Adding to his mounting stress is his twin sister Cara, who pushes him even harder. All his life, Conner has tried his absolute hardest to be perfect, flawless, like his sister; comparing Conner to Cara and pointing out his every flaw seems to be his parent’s favorite hobby. He is the textbook example of a private school kid gone wrong, when people are put under such enormous pressure to accomplish the impossible to achieve the unachievable, and to perfect all their imperfections, they snap. Adolescents like him usually develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, and Conner is no exception. In order to lash out, rebel, and defy his parents, he sleeps around and has intimate relations with older women. He dated his English teacher, Emily, who is fifteen years his elder, she also happens to be his neighbor. Conner because too dependent on Emily, he relied on her for happiness. “I wanted her to fill the empty spaces left by a father who never once praised me, ‘friends’ who used me, an ice princess mom who raised me glass kisses.” (134) Their breakup is the catalyst for his depression and attempted suicide. Throughout the novel, Conner changes, his depression appears to improve, he seems happier and as if he was close to working out his family problems. As his stay at Aspen Springs is drawing to a close, he decides to liberate himself from his medicinal crutch, to prove himself stronger, to prove he has overcome his problems, to prove he is in control of his own identity. But as an ironic repercussion of the lack of stimulants and depressants coursing through his blood stream he careened out of control. Soon after he went off his medication, he received an epistle from home reminding him to stay in shape, keep studying, and to inform him that his twin has been accepted to Stanford. He broke. “Can’t think about Cara, Stanford, football. Can’t think about my parents, grades, test scores. Can’t think about any of that at all . . . I’ll go home to expectations no way I can live up to, no longer want to. I close my eyes and all I can see is my mother’s face. Sculpted. Beautiful. Angry. So often angry. And I am so much like her. A grenade of my own anger explodes inside my head. I am damaged. Decayed.” (635) His final thoughts were his final confessions, his final plea for help, his final reflections. These final condescending thoughts pushed him to the edge, literally. Some people are just not meant to have a happy ending.
Tony-
Tony is the last of the three crazy musketeers in the novel Impulse. Like Conner and Vanessa, he also made Aspen Springs his dreary home after an attempted suicide. Stoned, drunk, unkempt, he lay on the sidewalk with eyes that were closed with hopes of never again opening. To Tony’s dismay, a police officer spotted puke soaked crumpled mess of a person and saved his ill-fated life. Soon after, Tony found himself in the best mental institution in Nevada, Aspen Springs. His dad, who he had not heard from in ten years, paid the way, mostly out of guilt for abandoning his son. When Tony was still young and innocent his dad left him and his mom with forty dollars and no livelihood. His mom quickly turned to prostitution and not only were there strange men in and out of the master bedroom every night, but his mom also had an assortment of worthless boyfriends. One of these scumbags, Larry, taught Tony a little more than any child should know. By the young of age eight he had already been terribly molested and tortured by the rubbish boyfriend; when he tried to tell his mom, she blamed him and put the blame on the victim. This lead the poor child to do something no eight year old should have the capability to imagine, let alone actually do. Tony found a pistol and shot Larry. “Not much later I was confined with boys, looking to act like men. And there were a few guards who used us for sex toys.” (328). After his eight year stay in prison and a self-discovery journey that made him come to the conclusion that he was gay , he was forced to live on the streets with only vodka to drink , shrooms to eat and solace only in the prick of a heroin filled syringe. Hopelessness drowned him as he was forced into doing sinful things for money. Luckily, he was taken in by a gay, fatally ill old man, Phillip, who acted as a foster dad and the only person Tony ever loved. Just as things began to take a turn for the better Phillip died, and it was back to swimming in hopelessness for the tortured adolescent. Such a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad childhood could only lead to one thing, depression and institutionalization. He was a prime candidate to be a patient at Aspen Springs because even though he did not realize it, the constant therapy and seemingly useless group sessions actually helped him overcome his history and demolish his old broken self and rise like a phoenix from ashes. He meets a girl, a special girl, during his stay at Aspen Springs. Her name is Vanessa, and much to everyone’s surprise he falls head over heels for her. Vanessa helps him realize that he can change; he does not have to stay the gay, abused, substance-abusing person that he has always been. Discovering himself and his newly defined sexual orientation is what helped him make it through the tough emotional challenges he was presented with, like having to confront his father. Out of all the characters, Tony is the strongest, the toughest, the most tenacious and most resilient; he is the definition of hope. Despite his terrible youth he was able to find hope, and most importantly, he learned to love. Vanessa says “And how can it be he's so in love with me? To grow up without love, and still have so much inside?” There are a small handful of people who truly deserve a happy ending, Tony is among those select few who refuse to stop or give up. This small sampling of rare individuals, exemplified by Tony, is the epitome of hope.
What would a short version of the plot look like? How could the novel be summarized?
The novel starts out with the attempted suicides of three teenagers, Tony, Vanessa, and Conner. Consequently three young troubled lives, which otherwise would never have touched, converge in a squeaky clean yet unfriendly place called Aspen Springs, the local mental institution. Tony, Vanessa, and Conner find comfort and friendship within each other in the most trying times, in the most unlikely of places. Each of the adolescents goes through the course of Aspen Springs. After being admitted they are level 0, which means they spend a week or so in isolation then you slowly but surely advance through levels 1, 2, 3 gaining more freedom as you go along. During their stay at Aspen Springs Tony, Vanessa, and Conner all make trips to group therapy, generally unhelpful, as well as personal therapy, and family therapy. Individually they appear to be making great strides towards improving their mental health. The hardest part of therapy for everyone is the trips back home, it did more harm than good. Throughout the novel they continue to open up and make difficult confessions, and the three teenagers are growing stronger and healthier mentally. Towards the end of the novel when they graduate to level four, they must complete a wilderness survival challenge to emphasis teamwork and how important it is. Tony, Vanessa, and Conner thrive in the environment and their new found mental stability; there is a happy ending for all except one.
What are the major themes or big ideas of this book? What effect do they have on the characters?
Hope- Underlying all the suicide, depression and mental illness there remains a thin sliver of hope. Hope that their ex will come back to them, hope that they can get out of the miserable hospital, hope that they might become sane. It is what keeps them going, one would not except hope to be prominent in a story detailing the lives of suicidal teenagers yet without it this story would not have been possible Even in the darkest of places, during the most trying of times, hope will always find a way. Tony's discovery of his new sexual identity and his feelings for Vanessa gave him hope. It offered Tony a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to keep going, a reason to stay alive. Hope affected Tony more than anyone else in the story; he was the one with nothing to lose and the most to gain. What separates Tony apart from the other characters is the fact that he holds on to the small thread of hope, and refuses to let go.
Depression-
The three main characters, Conner, Vanessa, and Tony, who are all survivors of suicide attempts, suffer from severe depression. At Aspen Springs, with admission comes the assumption that all patients are depressed. Staying hyped up on Prozac during the day helps the teens cope, but each of them has their own self-destructive coping mechanisms as well. Vanessa mutilates herself in order to make her pain tangible, Conner looks for comfort in physical pleasure, and Tony copes by adulterating his bloodstream with abusive substances. On a larger scale, depression is the cause for all conflict in this novel as depression leads to suicide and other harmful actions demonstrated by these adolescents.
Broken homes, dysfunctional families-
One misfortune that Vanessa, Tony, and Conner share is a broken home and a screwed up family. Vanessa has a schizophrenic and manic depressive mom who overdosed on Xanax and wound up a vegetable. Her dad is in the army, causing them to move around constantly, never settling down and leaving Vanessa and her little brother to take care of their lunatic mother. She ended up living with her grandmother, which finally gave her a little stability in her hectic life. Conner’s family constantly pressured him to be perfect, to be something he was not. His parents would rather their son attempt suicide than let his GPA drop. “We have a standing in this community, a reputation to protect. Did you expect us to act with impunity? What I did had nothing to do with you. It was about letting myself feel- desire, pain, fear. Emotions you don’t permit.” (296) it is obvious that the source of his mental instability is due to his dysfunctional family. His twin sister Cara is everything he is not and everything he strives to be. Constant ugly comparisons between Conner and his sister push him to the breaking point, twice. However, Tony’s family life is arguably the worst of them all; his mom is a prostitute, his mom’s boyfriend stole his virginity when he was just eight, and he was forced to live on the streets. Fortunately a savior came to him a few months after his release from incarceration; Tony was sleeping on the streets when a fatally ill man took him under his wing and served as his foster father. This shows that no matter how bad your history is, someone can save you; it shows that there is always salvation for those who seek it.
What are the major conflicts and problems in this novel? How do the characters work to resolve them?
The conflict of this story is really quite simple; the problem is that Vanessa, Tony, and Conner are mentally ill. Vanessa is suicidal, depressed, bipolar, and borderline schizophrenic. Tony and Conner are both suicidal and depressed. The triad is admitted to a mental hospital, called Aspen Springs, in hopes of resolving the conflict. Vanessa tries to cope with her illness via self-mutilation; she is dependent upon cutting herself. She is forced to face the demons of her daily life, like the voices in her head, her mood swings, and her lingering memories; this is her battle. Tony must come to terms with his haunting horrifying history, his overwhelming sadness and heartache, as well as his suicidal thoughts and tendencies. As he goes through therapy, Tony realizes that these are not the only problems he is presented with. He also struggles to forgive his father, learn how to love, and to find hope where there is none. “My problems are bad. His are insurmountable” Conner says this when he realizes what Tony is going through. Conner himself is suicidal, depressed, and stressed out. His stay at Aspen Springs helped him apprehend what his biggest evil is: his family life. The constant pressure and cold criticisms are a huge issue for Conner. Although he is undergoing treatment and is heavily medicated he cannot not shake the thought of ending his life. These three tortured adolescent souls face the challenge of finding hope where there is none, making love from nothing, learning to forgive and forget, and most importantly, to learn to appreciate who they are and be happy about it.
This series of harsh-looking images represent the mental issues of the main characters, as well as display a quote from the story. The syringe and the bottle represent Tony, and the way he found comfort in heroin and alcohol. It also stands for the trouble he faced in juvenile detention and on the streets, which eventually lead him to attempt suicide. The gun represents how Conner’s problems snow-balled and turned into a misfired bullet. The knife represents Vanessa and her issues. She uses the bite of cold metal to calm the voices in her head, to balance her emotions, and to calm herself down. This coping mechanism took a bad turn when she took it too far and attempted suicide by slashing her wrists. All together the trio of symbols not only represents the three main characters, but it also represents their mental issues, their problems, their coping mechanisms and their suicides.
What other works of existing literature resemble Impulse?
Although Impulse is a very unique novel, it does share a few characteristics with other works of literature. One movie that is reminiscent of this book is Wrist Cutter’s: A Love Story. This movie depicts the life of a heart-broken man after he passes into the afterlife, following his suicide via slashed wrists. He is in a special part of the afterlife reserved for people who committed suicide; he finds friendship, hope, and love in a lonely, dreary, and hateful place. In both Impulse and this movie, suicide initiates the plot line, and the man from the movie and Vanessa from the book both slashed their wrists to kill themselves. In both stories, hope plays a major role, affecting the characters and their actions in a positive way. The man from Wrist Cutter’s: A Love Story finds hope and love in a little section of hell, a highly unlikely place. Tony finds hope and love in a mental hospital, also a highly unlikely place. The major difference between the two works of literature is that in Wrist Cutter’s: A Love Story, there is a happy ending; unfortunately in Impulse there is not. A book that is similar to Impulse is Crank. Both novels are written in free verse and by Ellen Hopkins. Her style of writing carries over the trauma and the major themes between the two books. Both novels are traumatic, tragic yet moving at the same time. Yes, Impulse does share a handful of characteristics with other works of literature, but it still holds its own irreplaceable identity: a true work of disturbingly beautiful art.
What are the five most interesting and new words in this novel? Where were they in the novel? What do I think they mean?
Catatonia-
“I had hoped your mother would get well one day ; but when we visited her at the hospital , they told me her catatonia is likely permanent” (626) Noun; a state in which your body loses all motor control, most often schizophrenic patients experience catatonia; it causes the inability to move voluntarily, like a conscious coma.
Mania-
“When Mama felt like that, Daddy called her manic. But why is mania bad, if it means you’re on top of the world, where everything is white?”(73) noun; enthusiasm, love, or excitement, associated with manic depressive disorder
Covert-
"Even supervised outings should give me the chance to make a covert phone call." Adj. disguised, concealed, hidden; private (241)
Litmus-
“Homophobia stashed I’d probably have to lie to pass Tony’s litmus test” (171) noun; technically a test using a chemical to determine the Ph of a substance but in this context it means a test that relies on a single indicator.
Snuff-
“ Conner, too, although he’s more like a faraway star, brilliant but cold in the distance; beautiful in his perfection, but likely to burn too brightly, snuff himself out” (271) verb, to extinguish or cease to function
ImpulseEllen Hopkins
"Act
on your impulse
cut a little deeper
put the gun to your chest" (6)
What is this book? Why did I choose it?
I went through three other novels before I finally settled on this book, “Impulse”. Previously, my mother tried to get me to read dramas about lawyers that made my head hurt; first I tried reading The Rainmaker, and then I tried to read The Firm. Both of these books were difficult to understand and were totally unrelated to my life. I chose “Impulse” by Ellen Hopkins because I was interested in reading a modern tragedy. The novel is written in free verse poetry from the first person viewpoint of three different characters. By the time I got to the third page, I was hooked; I do not in any way regret choosing this book for my project.
What genres does Impulse fall under? Why does it belong in these genres?
Impulse by Ellen Hopkins is in the genre young adult fiction for several reasons. Older adults would think the content is too daring, bold, and shocking. The heart-wrenching plot line would not appeal to a senior citizen trying to relax in retirement. It might be just as damaging to the fragile elderly as a heart attack. Middle aged adults could handle the strong content of the story however they would not be able to fully connect to the emotions of the teenage characters. Since this book is centered around the complex feelings of the main characters, the novel would not have quite the impact on middle-aged adults as it would on young adults. They are the perfect audience for this piece of fiction because they are mature enough to grasp the weight of the themes yet young enough to understand the emotional cargo pressing down on the resilient adolescent minds. Also, this book can be considered a trauma or tragedy because of the depressing themes. Right off the bat, the story begins with the retelling of three suicide attempts. All throughout the novel, descriptions are given of traumatic histories involving rape, murder, abortion, drugs, alcohol, juvenile detention, prostitution, homelessness, parental separation, overdose, break ups, molestation, and suicide. On top of that, the trio must confront their internal demons such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicidal thoughts. However, as the story progresses, the lives of the main characters seem to be gradually improving and everyone, including the reader is content. But that would be too good to be true, so the novel concludes with a tragic ending. If being a tragic and traumatic book was a job, Impulse would be over qualified. This book is lots of things, moving, heart-breaking, and touching, but it is certainly not happy.Who are the major characters? What do they do and how do they feel?
Vanessa-
One of the three main characters of this novel, Vanessa is a pretty high school girl with auburn hair and warm chocolate eyes. Like the other individuals of this novel, she attempted suicide consequently landing her at Aspen Spring, the local mental institution. She tried to off herself by slashing her wrists while laying in her grandmother’s bathtub, fortunately, her little brother found her in time to save her life. Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, appears to be the main cause of her mental issues. Vanessa expresses her mood swings through colors; when she is “in the blue” she is sad or depressed, when she is “ in the white” she is happy, bright, and on top of the world and when she is “in the gray” she is right in the middle, or what other people would call normal. “Bad genes have doomed me to seesaw, white to blue and back again, for the rest of my pitiful life.” (74) Her inability to cope with her mood swings turns her towards an easy escape route: self-injury. “Coasting through life was the best I’d be able to do, managing the see-saw with the slice of a blade. So much blue in my days, a spattering of white, an abstract of emotions painted on this dull canvas. But here it is, a hint of bronze, a shimmer of gold frost. Can my world fill with color? Will I ever live shades of red? Yellow? Green?” (346) She hopes that one day she will be able to escape from her teeter-totter of blue and white. The only way she is able to cope with her mental illness is through self-injury. She craves the sting of a blade, the slicing of skin. “so I gave myself to the knife; asked it to bite a little harder, chew a little deeper” (21) Her inability to deal with daily life without mutilation is what brought her to Aspen Springs in the first place. “I cut to focus when my brain is racing. I cut to make physical what I feel inside. I cut to see blood because I like it. I don’t like to cut, but I can’t give it up. I feel all those things but I now cut for a much more substantial reason. I cut when I hear a baby crying or mama calling, impossible things but hearing them all the same. Bipolar is one thing. Schizophrenia is another. Could I have inherited both?” (200) She is worried that she might have inherited too much from her mom. Vanessa’s mom has been a huge source of stress for her because she is both schizophrenic and bipolar. Damian was the name of her mom’s “angel”, the impossible voice inside her mind. One day, Vanessa’s mom decided she had had enough; she overdosed on Xanax and wound up catatonic. Unknown to everyone but Vanessa, she walked into her house and found her mom unconscious on the floor and simply walked away. “She wanted to die…and who was I to argue?” (378) As if this was not enough for a young girl to deal with, she had a terrible relationship with a terrible boyfriend; resulting in an unwanted pregnancy. She hoped it would bring them closer together, a last ditch effort to save the thread bare relationship and Vanessa wound up a murderer; she had an abortion. However, one good thing did happen to her, she fell in love with Tony at Aspen Springs, showing that no matter how bad of a background you have, no matter what the circumstances, happiness finds a way.Conner-
Conner is part of a trio of mentally disturbed characters in this novel. Athletic, good looking and extremely smart, Conner wears a false flawless façade to hide his pain; but one can only hide it so long. At the beginning of the novel, he attempts suicide by shooting himself in the chest. Fortunately, he missed and hit his rib cage. “Maybe crazy is preferable to staying strong” (28) although he appears perfect on the outside, he has been pushed to the breaking point. His parents are relentless, cold, and hard. “I thought she might die too, at the sight of so much blood and the thought of it staining her white Armani blouse. Conner what have you done? Tell me this was just an accident. She never heard my reply, never shed a tear.” (8) This shows you what sort of woman Conner has for a mother. Even though he just attempted suicide and his new home is Aspen Springs, Conner’s mom constantly reminds him that he needs to keep up his GPA and stay in shape for football season. As if dealing with his severe depression and other mental instabilities was not emotionally taxing enough, whenever his parents come to visit him for group therapy, they constantly badger him about maintaining his grades so he can be accepted in to the best Ivy League college. Adding to his mounting stress is his twin sister Cara, who pushes him even harder. All his life, Conner has tried his absolute hardest to be perfect, flawless, like his sister; comparing Conner to Cara and pointing out his every flaw seems to be his parent’s favorite hobby. He is the textbook example of a private school kid gone wrong, when people are put under such enormous pressure to accomplish the impossible to achieve the unachievable, and to perfect all their imperfections, they snap. Adolescents like him usually develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, and Conner is no exception. In order to lash out, rebel, and defy his parents, he sleeps around and has intimate relations with older women. He dated his English teacher, Emily, who is fifteen years his elder, she also happens to be his neighbor. Conner because too dependent on Emily, he relied on her for happiness. “I wanted her to fill the empty spaces left by a father who never once praised me, ‘friends’ who used me, an ice princess mom who raised me glass kisses.” (134) Their breakup is the catalyst for his depression and attempted suicide. Throughout the novel, Conner changes, his depression appears to improve, he seems happier and as if he was close to working out his family problems. As his stay at Aspen Springs is drawing to a close, he decides to liberate himself from his medicinal crutch, to prove himself stronger, to prove he has overcome his problems, to prove he is in control of his own identity. But as an ironic repercussion of the lack of stimulants and depressants coursing through his blood stream he careened out of control. Soon after he went off his medication, he received an epistle from home reminding him to stay in shape, keep studying, and to inform him that his twin has been accepted to Stanford. He broke. “Can’t think about Cara, Stanford, football. Can’t think about my parents, grades, test scores. Can’t think about any of that at all . . . I’ll go home to expectations no way I can live up to, no longer want to. I close my eyes and all I can see is my mother’s face. Sculpted. Beautiful. Angry. So often angry. And I am so much like her. A grenade of my own anger explodes inside my head. I am damaged. Decayed.” (635) His final thoughts were his final confessions, his final plea for help, his final reflections. These final condescending thoughts pushed him to the edge, literally. Some people are just not meant to have a happy ending.Tony-
Tony is the last of the three crazy musketeers in the novel Impulse. Like Conner and Vanessa, he also made Aspen Springs his dreary home after an attempted suicide. Stoned, drunk, unkempt, he lay on the sidewalk with eyes that were closed with hopes of never again opening. To Tony’s dismay, a police officer spotted puke soaked crumpled mess of a person and saved his ill-fated life. Soon after, Tony found himself in the best mental institution in Nevada, Aspen Springs. His dad, who he had not heard from in ten years, paid the way, mostly out of guilt for abandoning his son. When Tony was still young and innocent his dad left him and his mom with forty dollars and no livelihood. His mom quickly turned to prostitution and not only were there strange men in and out of the master bedroom every night, but his mom also had an assortment of worthless boyfriends. One of these scumbags, Larry, taught Tony a little more than any child should know. By the young of age eight he had already been terribly molested and tortured by the rubbish boyfriend; when he tried to tell his mom, she blamed him and put the blame on the victim. This lead the poor child to do something no eight year old should have the capability to imagine, let alone actually do. Tony found a pistol and shot Larry. “Not much later I was confined with boys, looking to act like men. And there were a few guards who used us for sex toys.” (328). After his eight year stay in prison and a self-discovery journey that made him come to the conclusion that he was gay , he was forced to live on the streets with only vodka to drink , shrooms to eat and solace only in the prick of a heroin filled syringe. Hopelessness drowned him as he was forced into doing sinful things for money. Luckily, he was taken in by a gay, fatally ill old man, Phillip, who acted as a foster dad and the only person Tony ever loved. Just as things began to take a turn for the better Phillip died, and it was back to swimming in hopelessness for the tortured adolescent. Such a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad childhood could only lead to one thing, depression and institutionalization. He was a prime candidate to be a patient at Aspen Springs because even though he did not realize it, the constant therapy and seemingly useless group sessions actually helped him overcome his history and demolish his old broken self and rise like a phoenix from ashes. He meets a girl, a special girl, during his stay at Aspen Springs. Her name is Vanessa, and much to everyone’s surprise he falls head over heels for her. Vanessa helps him realize that he can change; he does not have to stay the gay, abused, substance-abusing person that he has always been. Discovering himself and his newly defined sexual orientation is what helped him make it through the tough emotional challenges he was presented with, like having to confront his father. Out of all the characters, Tony is the strongest, the toughest, the most tenacious and most resilient; he is the definition of hope. Despite his terrible youth he was able to find hope, and most importantly, he learned to love. Vanessa says “And how can it be he's so in love with me? To grow up without love, and still have so much inside?” There are a small handful of people who truly deserve a happy ending, Tony is among those select few who refuse to stop or give up. This small sampling of rare individuals, exemplified by Tony, is the epitome of hope.
What would a short version of the plot look like? How could the novel be summarized?
The novel starts out with the attempted suicides of three teenagers, Tony, Vanessa, and Conner. Consequently three young troubled lives, which otherwise would never have touched, converge in a squeaky clean yet unfriendly place called Aspen Springs, the local mental institution. Tony, Vanessa, and Conner find comfort and friendship within each other in the most trying times, in the most unlikely of places. Each of the adolescents goes through the course of Aspen Springs. After being admitted they are level 0, which means they spend a week or so in isolation then you slowly but surely advance through levels 1, 2, 3 gaining more freedom as you go along. During their stay at Aspen Springs Tony, Vanessa, and Conner all make trips to group therapy, generally unhelpful, as well as personal therapy, and family therapy. Individually they appear to be making great strides towards improving their mental health. The hardest part of therapy for everyone is the trips back home, it did more harm than good. Throughout the novel they continue to open up and make difficult confessions, and the three teenagers are growing stronger and healthier mentally. Towards the end of the novel when they graduate to level four, they must complete a wilderness survival challenge to emphasis teamwork and how important it is. Tony, Vanessa, and Conner thrive in the environment and their new found mental stability; there is a happy ending for all except one.What are the major themes or big ideas of this book? What effect do they have on the characters?
Hope-Underlying all the suicide, depression and mental illness there remains a thin sliver of hope. Hope that their ex will come back to them, hope that they can get out of the miserable hospital, hope that they might become sane. It is what keeps them going, one would not except hope to be prominent in a story detailing the lives of suicidal teenagers yet without it this story would not have been possible Even in the darkest of places, during the most trying of times, hope will always find a way. Tony's discovery of his new sexual identity and his feelings for Vanessa gave him hope. It offered Tony a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to keep going, a reason to stay alive. Hope affected Tony more than anyone else in the story; he was the one with nothing to lose and the most to gain. What separates Tony apart from the other characters is the fact that he holds on to the small thread of hope, and refuses to let go.
Depression-
The three main characters, Conner, Vanessa, and Tony, who are all survivors of suicide attempts, suffer from severe depression. At Aspen Springs, with admission comes the assumption that all patients are depressed. Staying hyped up on Prozac during the day helps the teens cope, but each of them has their own self-destructive coping mechanisms as well. Vanessa mutilates herself in order to make her pain tangible, Conner looks for comfort in physical pleasure, and Tony copes by adulterating his bloodstream with abusive substances. On a larger scale, depression is the cause for all conflict in this novel as depression leads to suicide and other harmful actions demonstrated by these adolescents.Broken homes, dysfunctional families-
One misfortune that Vanessa, Tony, and Conner share is a broken home and a screwed up family. Vanessa has a schizophrenic and manic depressive mom who overdosed on Xanax and wound up a vegetable. Her dad is in the army, causing them to move around constantly, never settling down and leaving Vanessa and her little brother to take care of their lunatic mother. She ended up living with her grandmother, which finally gave her a little stability in her hectic life. Conner’s family constantly pressured him to be perfect, to be something he was not. His parents would rather their son attempt suicide than let his GPA drop. “We have a standing in this community, a reputation to protect. Did you expect us to act with impunity? What I did had nothing to do with you. It was about letting myself feel- desire, pain, fear. Emotions you don’t permit.” (296) it is obvious that the source of his mental instability is due to his dysfunctional family. His twin sister Cara is everything he is not and everything he strives to be. Constant ugly comparisons between Conner and his sister push him to the breaking point, twice. However, Tony’s family life is arguably the worst of them all; his mom is a prostitute, his mom’s boyfriend stole his virginity when he was just eight, and he was forced to live on the streets. Fortunately a savior came to him a few months after his release from incarceration; Tony was sleeping on the streets when a fatally ill man took him under his wing and served as his foster father. This shows that no matter how bad your history is, someone can save you; it shows that there is always salvation for those who seek it.What are the major conflicts and problems in this novel? How do the characters work to resolve them?
The conflict of this story is really quite simple; the problem is that Vanessa, Tony, and Conner are mentally ill. Vanessa is suicidal, depressed, bipolar, and borderline schizophrenic. Tony and Conner are both suicidal and depressed. The triad is admitted to a mental hospital, called Aspen Springs, in hopes of resolving the conflict. Vanessa tries to cope with her illness via self-mutilation; she is dependent upon cutting herself. She is forced to face the demons of her daily life, like the voices in her head, her mood swings, and her lingering memories; this is her battle. Tony must come to terms with his haunting horrifying history, his overwhelming sadness and heartache, as well as his suicidal thoughts and tendencies. As he goes through therapy, Tony realizes that these are not the only problems he is presented with. He also struggles to forgive his father, learn how to love, and to find hope where there is none. “My problems are bad. His are insurmountable” Conner says this when he realizes what Tony is going through. Conner himself is suicidal, depressed, and stressed out. His stay at Aspen Springs helped him apprehend what his biggest evil is: his family life. The constant pressure and cold criticisms are a huge issue for Conner. Although he is undergoing treatment and is heavily medicated he cannot not shake the thought of ending his life. These three tortured adolescent souls face the challenge of finding hope where there is none, making love from nothing, learning to forgive and forget, and most importantly, to learn to appreciate who they are and be happy about it.
This series of harsh-looking images represent the mental issues of the main characters, as well as display a quote from the story. The syringe and the bottle represent Tony, and the way he found comfort in heroin and alcohol. It also stands for the trouble he faced in juvenile detention and on the streets, which eventually lead him to attempt suicide. The gun represents how Conner’s problems snow-balled and turned into a misfired bullet. The knife represents Vanessa and her issues. She uses the bite of cold metal to calm the voices in her head, to balance her emotions, and to calm herself down. This coping mechanism took a bad turn when she took it too far and attempted suicide by slashing her wrists. All together the trio of symbols not only represents the three main characters, but it also represents their mental issues, their problems, their coping mechanisms
and their suicides.
What other works of existing literature resemble Impulse?
Although Impulse is a very unique novel, it does share a few characteristics with other works of literature. One movie that is reminiscent of this book is Wrist Cutter’s: A Love Story. This movie depicts the life of a heart-broken man after he passes into the afterlife, following his suicide via slashed wrists. He is in a special part of the afterlife reserved for people who committed suicide; he finds friendship, hope, and love in a lonely, dreary, and hateful place. In both Impulse and this movie, suicide initiates the plot line, and the man from the movie and Vanessa from the book both slashed their wrists to kill themselves. In both stories, hope plays a major role, affecting the characters and their actions in a positive way. The man from Wrist Cutter’s: A Love Story finds hope and love in a little section of hell, a highly unlikely place. Tony finds hope and love in a mental hospital, also a highly unlikely place. The major difference between the two works of literature is that in Wrist Cutter’s: A Love Story, there is a happy ending; unfortunately in Impulse there is not. A book that is similar to Impulse is Crank. Both novels are written in free verse and by Ellen Hopkins. Her style of writing carries over the trauma and the major themes between the two books. Both novels are traumatic, tragic yet moving at the same time. Yes, Impulse does share a handful of characteristics with other works of literature, but it still holds its own irreplaceable identity: a true work of disturbingly beautiful art.What are the five most interesting and new words in this novel? Where were they in the novel? What do I think they mean?
Catatonia-
“I had hoped your mother would get well one day ; but when we visited her at the hospital , they told me her catatonia is likely permanent” (626)
Noun; a state in which your body loses all motor control, most often schizophrenic patients experience catatonia; it causes the inability to move voluntarily, like a conscious coma.
Mania-
“When Mama felt like that, Daddy called her manic. But why is mania bad, if it means you’re on top of the world, where everything is white?”(73)noun; enthusiasm, love, or excitement, associated with manic depressive disorder
Covert-
"Even supervised outings should give me the chance to make a covert phone call."Adj. disguised, concealed, hidden; private (241)
Litmus-
“Homophobia stashed I’d probably have to lie to pass Tony’s litmus test” (171)noun; technically a test using a chemical to determine the Ph of a substance but in this context it means a test that relies on a single indicator.
Snuff-
“ Conner, too, although he’s more like a faraway star, brilliant but cold in the distance; beautiful in his perfection, but likely to burn too brightly, snuff himself out” (271)verb, to extinguish or cease to function
Where could one find my GoodReads review?
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/430498242Quarter 2
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/482046150